Gag me with a house salad.

If I had a nickel for every time I got invited to some cookie-cutter, meat-infested, casual dining craphole (if it's not a word, it is today) and told "you can have a house salad," I would use all of those nickels to buy a Bob Marley autographed guitar to bash the next person to offer me a house salad over the head.

I don't have a problem with house salads, per se, but I do have a problem with the fact that someone would invite me to eat with them while caring so little about my taste buds that they think a bowl of half-wilted iceberg lettuce, a cucumber slice, and three cherry tomatoes was going to be an enjoyable dinner.

I won't stand for it anymore, and you shouldn't either!  It is our duty as vegetarians to inform our friends, family and colleagues that we do have sophisticated palates, too.  Most vegetarians do not graze in a field.  We like variety as much as any carnivore and don't eat salads all day.  If I do have a salad for dinner, it is going to be a dinner salad, and it better have some nice, fancy stuff all over it, like craisins, apples, walnuts, artichokes or something else yummy.  If it's not on a dinner-sized plate, it's not a dinner.

Ok.  I'm done ranting.  Wow!  I could really go for a salad right now. How ironic? :-/

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Promoting Vegetarianism

I feel like it's important for me to take a moment and explain why it is important to promote vegetarianism.  Some of the reasons are altruistic, while others are tools to satisfy my own wishes.  Here are my favorites:

1. Vegetarianism is healthy.  I want those around me to be healthy.
2. Vegetarianism is good for the environment.  I want the environment to be healthy.
3. The price of vegetarian products will decrease as they get more popular and competition increases.  I want my bank account to be healthy.
4. More places, including restaurants, will provide vegetarian options when the market becomes lucrative.  That would be awesome!

Anyways, at the risk of sounding like a simpleton, those are my reasons for promoting vegetarianism.  But, I don't hold up a sign or stand on street corners preaching the benefits of a herbivorous diet.  So, what do I do to promote vegetarianism?  I'm glad you asked.  I support businesses that offer vegetarian options, and so should you.  It's nice to go to Tim & Moonglow's Corner Store to buy homemade kava kava suncakes, but the "big guys" deserve some reward for catering to our finicky needs.

If everyone would make a point to stop by Applebee's and have their vegetarian sliders, or by Johnny Rockets and enjoy a Streamliner, or just go to Publix or Winn-Dixie or Albertson's, or whatever your local grocery store is, and patronize their tiny vegetarian food sections, one day they will have many vegetarian options and huge vegetarian food sections.  Can I get an "Amen"?  Or, at least give me a "kumbaya" or whatever hippies say. :)

Chain Restaurants

I am not a huge fan of chain restaurants (what vegetarian is?). But, vegetarians learn quickly that they are popular among the business crowd and must be tolerated for the purpose of socializing.  While it is difficult to always be the person who picks the meeting place, it is easy and convenient to make suggestions.  Here are some of my favorites, by cuisine.  They are not all "up-scale", but being a socialite does not mean you have to be pretentious (don't judge me).

• Asian: Pei Wei - fast, friendly and delicious food.  You can have anything with tofu and they'll let you know if the sauce is vegetarian.
• Italian: Any place - pastas, pizza, eggplant parmigiana.  It's the food of the gods.  Just try not to be too messy and watch the garlic breath. Macaroni Grill, Olive Garden, and Carrabas are all acceptable chains for entertaining.
• Mexican: Tijuana Flats is awesome - plenty of stuff without meat.  Moe's Southwestern Grill and Chipotle Grill are both good and offer tofu as your filling.  WARNING - at Mexican restaurants, always ask if your rice is cooked in chicken broth and whether or not the beans are cooked with meat.  You will often find that one type of beans is and another is not.
• American: Outback Steakhouse offers a surprisingly good veggie burger.  Believe it or not, Denny's has awesome veggie burgers and I hear reports that some are now using Amy's brand (yay!).  Johnny Rockets offers the Streamliner.  Just make sure you tell them not to cook it in a pile of burger grease.  Ruby Tuesdays has a decent avocado quesadilla, fresh guacamole and chips appetizer, and vegetarian minis (little black bean burgers with barbecue sauce and fries).
• Sandwiches: I hate Subway (you always leave smelling like a, well, Subway), but if you are into that sort of thing, they have a veggie sub (salad in bread).  I prefer the veggie sub at Quiznos - mushrooms, olives, guacamole, peppers, etc.  Jimmy John's has an AMAZING gourmet veggie club, if you eat/like cheese (lots of provolone, my favorite).
• Other:  I have to mention Panera Bread Company.  They have vegetarian soups and salads that are tasty and healthy.  This is a good place for the sophisticated ambiance.

I know that none of these are exactly China Grille, but real movers and shakers need to eat at places that are quick and convenient.  I'll make some classier recommendations another time.  Just be glad I didn't talk about Taco Bell...yet. Feel free to post any of your favorites or critique mine. :)