Gag me with a house salad.

If I had a nickel for every time I got invited to some cookie-cutter, meat-infested, casual dining craphole (if it's not a word, it is today) and told "you can have a house salad," I would use all of those nickels to buy a Bob Marley autographed guitar to bash the next person to offer me a house salad over the head.

I don't have a problem with house salads, per se, but I do have a problem with the fact that someone would invite me to eat with them while caring so little about my taste buds that they think a bowl of half-wilted iceberg lettuce, a cucumber slice, and three cherry tomatoes was going to be an enjoyable dinner.

I won't stand for it anymore, and you shouldn't either!  It is our duty as vegetarians to inform our friends, family and colleagues that we do have sophisticated palates, too.  Most vegetarians do not graze in a field.  We like variety as much as any carnivore and don't eat salads all day.  If I do have a salad for dinner, it is going to be a dinner salad, and it better have some nice, fancy stuff all over it, like craisins, apples, walnuts, artichokes or something else yummy.  If it's not on a dinner-sized plate, it's not a dinner.

Ok.  I'm done ranting.  Wow!  I could really go for a salad right now. How ironic? :-/

Share. Subscribe. Like. Add. Comment. Etc.

I'm the reason your girlfriend likes tofu.

My posts are probably way too cynical.  You probably all have great friends who respect your dietary decisions and encourage your healthy lifestyle.  I don't.  My friends are jerks.  I get ridiculed at every turn.  When we are out to eat, they make a point of ordering as much meat as possible.  Then, they tell me how good every bite is.

I can deal with that.  It might have been difficult at first, but now I just laugh it off and strike back when I can.  What I can't deal with is when they question my hetero-credentials.  Now, for all of the non-hetero readers out there, don't take any offense.  I'm okay with whatever floats your banana boat.  But, the assumption that all vegetarian men are playing for the other team are far from accurate.  In fact, vegetarianism exemplifies many characteristics that females look for in men, such as:

1. Healthy Living:  Every woman wants a man who cares about his body (because she cares about his body).
2. Self-Discipline:  One of the biggest complaints women make about men is that they lack control and discipline.  You must have discipline if you can stop eating meat. (hahaha)
3. Sensitivity:  Vegetarians are characterized as having a lot of concern for the environment and animal-welfare.  Women tend to love that stuff. Yay!
4. Trendiness:  Vegetarianism is often looked at as a subculture.  Subcultures are a rebellion against the norm, and rebellion is cool.  Women look at vegetarian men as a different kind of bad boy.

So, please, if you are a man and are interested in vegetarianism, don't let your guy friends peer-pressure you not to.  Just give it a shot and take their girlfriends. :)